Michael Jackson (50) Passed Away Today!

Very sad news today. Michael Jackson (50) died. News reports are saying he died of a heart attack. For years he has been very thin and in not the best of health. Stress and the media assaults on him probably had a lot to do with it. Although he had been charged in a couple of court cases, he was always found not guilty. We in America believe in innocence until proven guilty, so for any haters out there who say harsh things about Michael but say they believe in "the rule of law" should remember this.

I always loved Michael Jackson and his music. He and his family were so talented. The first song I remember hearing was "ABC" in 1970. My little brother brought it home. I remember when my little brother brought the album home, I kidded him by saying "Oh good. Now you can learn the ABCs at home." My baby bro and I always kidded each other like that, even to this day.

I grew to love the Jackson 5 and all of their music. There was such a rhythm to his music. I grew up loving Motown especially the Temptations, the Supremes, Smokey Robinson and the Four Tops. In the mid-seventies, Michael's music began to evolve. There were so many beautiful songs in his album "Off the Wall." I cried to "She's out of my life", danced to "Don't stop til you get enough" and "Rock with You." The seventies were the times of miniskirts, hot pants, disco boots and Discos. In the discos, we danced and danced to them all.

Then my lovely husband and I married. I had my oldest son a year later. I always say my son saved my life because he brought so much more love and happiness (and maturity) to our family. He was so beautiful. He was a brilliant baby. He learned to walk at 10 months. He was potty trained at 18 months. He was reading Grover's "Monster at the end of this book" at the age of two. And he was rockin' to Michael Jackson's music since he was born. When he was four or five years old, I bought the Thriller cassette tape. He loooooooooooved Michael Jackson. I bought him his own walkman with headphones for the Thriller tape. He was so cute rocking and moving to the music. There were so many great songs on that tape. Besides "Thriller", there was "Beat It" and "Billie Jean" and more.

My husband played softball every summer and my son and I watched his games from the stands. While on the stands, my son wore his earphones and rocked to the tapes. Everyone just loved him. Some of the jocks would say, "What you got there little buddy?" My son proudly beamed, "Michael Jackson's Thriller tape."

When the TV Special "Motown 25" came out, we all sat in front of the TV watching it. When Michael Jackson did the moonwalk for "Billie Jean", we all started screaming in awe. My baby son immediately got up and started imitating the moonwalk. It was beautiful!

Thriller remained my sons favorite album for years.

By the nineties, when my son became a young teenager, he moved on to other music, other interests. I think this happened to a lot of people. My son and my music interests parted at that time. He became interested in Hard Rock and I stuck with the Oldies, Pop and Country. But through those teenage years, every Halloween, I brought out the old Thriller tapes and we danced again to Michael's music.

Those times will always, always hold a special place in my heart.

Death, Life and Heaven

My brother died late last week. He was only 62 years old. I loved my brother, but I know he had a very rough life. His life didn’t start out that way though. He was born the fourth son and the sixth child in our 10 children family home. We all started out the same. We were hard working migrant laborers. We had a father and mother that loved us. They focused on building within each of us a work ethic that would help us become successful in America. Every summer we worked in the fruit/vegetable fields harvesting crops. Every Fall through Spring we attended school to complete our education so we could achieve the American Dream.

We all faced challenges. We were minorities in a majority white Michigan. From the beginning, we were the one “Mexican” family on the block. Teasing, chasing, bullying were the norm vs the anomaly. My brother faced it worse than most. He had an added factor. He was also overweight. This brought additional teasing.

Nevertheless, he was a very smart person and always did his best. I think he had his heart broken a few times, though he never dwelt on any negative experiences.

After he graduated from school and found his first job, he met a girl and married her. They had a beautiful daughter. The marriage only lasted only a few years. They mutually decided to divorce.

He came into his own after his divorce. He started advancing at his job and he lost weight. He became very handsome and dapper. Everyone said he looked like Freddie Prinze. It was the late seventies. Chico and the Man was a popular TV show and my brother was getting a lot of attention. Being the seventies, he started to dabble in pot and other miscellaneous feel good drugs. I knew a few people who did the same, but my boyfriend (now husband) and I were not into that kind of stuff so we drifted away from my brother and his crowd. By that time, my husband and I were married and I started advancing in my own career. We moved away from our hometown. After that, I only saw my brother once in a while when we came home for visits.

My brother married again and had two more children, a boy and a girl. After a few years, his partying went a little out of control. His marriage broke up. His new ex-wife moved to another state. He paid child support but rarely saw his kids. A few years later he lost his job. He didn’t give up his partying. Soon, he was drifting from job to job, usually in construction or as a handyman. He lost his house and later moved in with my parents.

None of my brothers and sisters were happy about this at first. However as my parents grew older, it was helpful to have him there. He became a very good caretaker of our parents. After our Dad died in 93, he became our mother’s sole caretaker and companion. In the last few years of her life, we were grateful to him especially the last six months when she was totally disabled and suffered from dementia.

Our mother died in January 2008. He became very depressed. I think he felt lost without mom. He had previously stopped his partying ways and now with mom gone, he just stayed home and seemed to give up. His health started to falter. He had diabetes and always seemed tired. He was only 62 when he died last Friday of natural causes. I suspect the actual cause was a broken heart. His two youngest children came to the funeral. They had been estranged from their dad for years, but they were so heartbroken by his death. It was just gut wrenching to see their tears.

My oldest brother (69) is in very poor health. He has ALS and is losing most of his muscle control. He doesn’t have much longer to live. He is in Michigan and was not able to travel due to his health so he did not attend the funeral.

The rosary/wake and the funeral Mass were all emotions. Afterwards, the immediate family gathered together just to talk. Then everyone began going home. My sister and I drove our oldest sister (68) to the airport. In years past, we would just drop her at the terminal entrance, but this time, we parked. I carried her luggage and guided her to the counter then to airport security.

My sister fell last year and this impacted her ability to walk on her own. She now walks with a cane. She moves so slowly. I remembered when we were young and we would run and laugh together. Now, she was not only fragile, she was elderly. I wondered how much longer we would have her with us.

I think I needed the five hour drive back home just so I could think about what happened over the previous few days. I didn’t cry much. I’m afraid to cry for fear I will break down. The few times I almost cried was during the wake and when his children cried.

I thought about my brother and his short life. My parents and another brother were dead too. My oldest brother and sister may soon follow. I remember putting together easel boards with so many pictures of my brother with our family. I know my brother did not achieve his dreams.

When I came home, I hugged my youngest son. I held my husband’s hand for a long, time. It felt good to just hang on to them for a little while. I love my husband and children so much. My husband and I talked for a little while about the week but I didn’t go into too much detail, just that it was sad and I was worried about my oldest sister.

My husband is bowling tonight and I started to look at my email and my blog. I decided to let my blog wait one more day before I jump back into it. Instead, I decided to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper. Life is just so damn short. It isn’t fair. What happened to hopes and dreams and plans for the future? Death is always there. That is a guarantee. If not death, then there is always debilitating disease, especially when you get older. How unfair.

I am a little mad at myself. Maybe I could have been a better sister. Maybe I could have been a little more understanding. Maybe I could have visited more. It is too late for that now.
Then I think he lived his own life the way he wanted to live it. Maybe he is happier now. Maybe he did get what he wanted. He did believe in Heaven.

Do You Remember the True Meaning of Christmas?

Are older generations more religious than us? I think so. I have been completing oral histories with some of my older relatives.

My mother and my older relatives were very religious. My mother was very close to her siblings and her children.

My mother taught us to go to church every Sunday and to celebrate Mass on Holy Days. She taught us to dress up on Sunday, go to church, honor God, honor the day and spend time with family. Later, she encouraged us to become active at church, join the choir, teach Catechism and to feel love for our fellow man. She taught us so many songs, both for church and for Holy Days. She taught us to sing from our heart and to show love for our fellow man!

My mom always volunteered at the church. She used to cook for the priests and wash/iron their garments. She often used a stiff starch spray when she ironed to make sure the vestments were immaculate and very, very crisp.

Holidays were always special times. She taught us, as her mother taught her, the Posadas. During the Christmas Holidays, everyone helped to festively decorate the church. Las Posadas were a special time in our church. We reenacted Joseph´s journey with Mary to Bethlehem. Las Posadas started on December 16 and continued through Christmas Eve. Our families went to church every evening during this time for the reenactment. We went from house to house and sang songs. It was a beautiful time of togetherness. It also helped all of us understand the true meaning of Christmas. Mary and Joseph arrived at the inn and we were all welcomed in for the birth of Christ. When I think of those times, I think of the birth of Christ, the singing and the feeling that we were all joined together in this Celebration of the True Meaning of Christmas!

I remember a Christmas song my mother taught us as children and it still resounds in my memories today:

"Ya rompió el alba del día, nació el niño manuelito, cantemos con alegría, a la lu, Niño chiquito. A la lu, Niño chiquito. Cantemos con alegria, Cantemos con grande fe, alaven los dulces nombres de Jesus, Maria y Jose. De Jesus, Maria y Jose."

So sometimes, I think about all of us. Do you have a manger scene as part of your Christmas celebration? Do you honor the Baby Jesus on his Birthday Celebration? Christmas was never meant to be about commercialism or expensive gifts. It was always about honoring Christ´s birth, families and being together.

I miss those times and sometimes, I wonder, if our children and grandbabies remember the true meaning of Christmas.

Things My Mother Taught Me

When I was a little girl, my mother taught me three very important lessons. They were the most important lessons in life and I carry them with me today.

Faith - Family - Country

Faith: My mother taught all of her children to believe in God. We are Catholic. Every Sunday, we woke up early, we put on our Sunday best, we went to Church. She taught us that if we believed in God and followed his commandments, going to church filled up our souls each week and we would walk back into our week refreshed, filled with love and truth, ready for the challenges of the upcoming week.

Family: After church, our entire family gathered together for our family dinner. We all sat around the table, said Grace, and talked as family. We were taught to always rely on Family First. Friends may come and go, but you always have family in the end.

Country: We were taught to love our Country, this land of opportunity, but it came with responsibility. We must work hard, maintain a strong work ethic, complete our education, have a good career, support our country in time of peace and war, honor the military and obey our laws. We were also taught to remember where we came from, our ethnicity and never be ashamed of the fact that we were migrant workers who worked hard and had the opportunity to succeed in this great country of ours.

My beautiful mother passed away last Monday. At her funeral, family and friends came to remember and honor her. Her funeral was both a celebration and a send off to her Heavenly journey. We miss her, but we also know she is in Heaven with our father.