Monday, December 8, 2008

The Life and Adventures of Santa - The Illegal Immigrant!

I saw Santa today.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
Working so hard, Working to save!
Sending home dollars and always so brave!
I think he was illegal though I didn’t know for sure.
All I could see was his motives so pure.
No passport. No papers. He just dropped in.
I could hear the ANTIs say, “How dare him!!”
All the families received him just fine!
They embraced him and offered him wine.
I wondered if he heard all the rants!
Accountable for all illegals´accidents.
The Antis were angry! Would they post a website!
Would they call in Arpaio or ICE Raid tonight?
Thrown in a Detention Center with torture to bear?
Or jailed and forced to wear pink underwear?
I need not have worried. He was a wise man
This globalized guy. He did understand.
When he finished his work.
He filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk.
Then waving a finger, aside of his nose.
And giving a nod.
Up the chimney he rose.
And as I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of site,
he said, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.”

Dee -- Merry Christmas, 2008

19 comments:

Analisa said...

Dee,

Ay, this is hilarious and brilliant!! he,he. Ah yes, I always suspected that Santa was undocumented. Well, Santa can drop by my house anytime. I'll be the first to give him "un fuerte abrazo" and serve him a glass of my world-famous famous Sangria. ;-)

Dee
"No passport. No papers. He just dropped in.
I could hear the ANTIs say, “How dare him!!”

Border Explorer said...

Dee, I recently discovered your blog and have been reading it silently for a week or so, but this post forces me to burst into applause! Well done! I hope you don't mind if I "borrow" this (and credit you, of course!) This is just excellent!

Nelson said...

Superman is an illegal alien too. Back to Krypton I say!

Dee said...

Analisa and Border Explorer,
Thank you for the compliments and of course you are free to use it.

I was motivated by actually seeing a man that looked like Santa this afternoon. He actually did have snow white hair and soft beard. He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook when he laughed.

He was just another shopper in street clothes, but he was so friendly and people of all colors stopped him and shook his hand. He was so jolly and friendly.

I said to myself, "gosh! He must be an illegal alien Santa!"

PS: Border Explorer, I hope you come back and visit us often!!

Dee said...

OMG Border Explorer, I just looked at your blog and you loved "Cowboy Del Amor" too!! I saw that movie a year or so ago and just loved it!! I think I wrote a blog about it a while ago too.
I am going to add you to my favorite blogs!

The Arizonian said...

Whats next, Jesus?
Santa Isn't real, and as such, wouldn't be able to break any laws....

But I did find this numerous and entertaining, so kudos.

The Arizonian said...

apologies:
* humorous*

Anonymous said...

And as I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of site,he said, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.”

He speaks English so we have to assume he is not an illegal alien.

The Arizonian said...

BTW, I dug around and found the Santa has been cleared to enter the US:
http://www.aviationhistory.org/ah_santa_2.html

http://www.dot.gov/affairs/dot14403.htm

http://www.murthy.com/news/n_elves.html

Dee said...

Anon,
There you go ASSUMing again!
LOL

Anonymous said....
He speaks English so we have to assume he is not an illegal alien.

Dee said...

Nelson,
We WANT Superman here! He does jobs no one else will do! e.g. Save the Planet!


Nelson said...
Superman is an illegal alien too. Back to Krypton I say!

Anonymous said...

dee

you posted Santa's words in English-right?

Anonymous said...

not espanol?

Dee said...

Anon,
We ALL speak English.
But you say the accents tend to hurt your ears.

Dee said...

Perhaps what you are saying is as long as the illegal immigrants have White Skin and Speak English you are not offended.


Anonymous said...
not espanol?

Anonymous said...

I am not the above anonymous but you are really assuming by saying that the other anonymous would be ok with white illegals who speak English. I am sure that he/she mentioned Spanish because most illegals in our country are Latinos who speak Spanish. Why couldn't you make that connection? It certainly was plain as day to me.

Dee said...

Anon,
Please name yourself Fred or Sue so we can differentiate you from other Anons.
Read back through the thread and the comments by the other anons and then you can catch up.

ultima said...

Dee wrote, "I think he was illegal though I didn’t know for sure.
All I could see was his motives so pure.
No passport. No papers. He just dropped in."

Good heavens! Santa represents more of that abhorrent Northern European culture. Wash your mouth out with soap!

Dee said...

Ulty,
He is not Northern European. He is a Native North Polean. I verified this with the elves so it is a FACT!

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